Choosing Memento Vivere

Gottman 17 Areas of Relationship Assessment

Based on Dr. John Gottman's research, this assessment measures 17 key areas of relationship functioning. Each area is scored independently to create a comprehensive relationship profile.

Please rate each statement based on how true it is for your relationship. Answer honestly — there are no right or wrong answers. Use the full range of the scale to describe your experience.
Question 1 of 51
I can name my partner's best friends and describe what is currently stressing them.
Question 2 of 51
I know my partner's current worries, hopes, and dreams.
Question 3 of 51
I am familiar with my partner's life history and formative experiences.
Question 4 of 51
I can easily list several things I admire about my partner.
Question 5 of 51
I regularly tell my partner things I appreciate about them.
Question 6 of 51
When I think about my partner, I feel a sense of respect and affection.
Question 7 of 51
My partner is generally responsive when I reach out for connection.
Question 8 of 51
I make an effort to respond to my partner's bids for attention and affection.
Question 9 of 51
We regularly engage in small moments of connection throughout the day.
Question 10 of 51
I generally give my partner the benefit of the doubt.
Question 11 of 51
I tend to view our relationship problems as manageable rather than catastrophic.
Question 12 of 51
When things go wrong, I assume my partner has good intentions.
Question 13 of 51
We can discuss our differences without things escalating into a major fight.
Question 14 of 51
We have effective ways of repairing after arguments or misunderstandings.
Question 15 of 51
We can accept each other's influence during disagreements.
Question 16 of 51
My partner supports my personal goals and aspirations.
Question 17 of 51
I actively encourage my partner to pursue their dreams and ambitions.
Question 18 of 51
We find ways to honor both partners' individual aspirations within the relationship.
Question 19 of 51
We have created meaningful rituals and traditions together.
Question 20 of 51
We share a sense of purpose about what our relationship means.
Question 21 of 51
We agree on the symbols and stories that define who we are as a couple.
Question 22 of 51
I trust that my partner is faithful and committed to our relationship.
Question 23 of 51
I feel confident that my partner has my best interests at heart.
Question 24 of 51
I can be vulnerable with my partner without fear of betrayal.
Question 25 of 51
I am dedicated to making this relationship work long-term.
Question 26 of 51
Even during difficult times, I choose to stay invested in this relationship.
Question 27 of 51
My partner and I both prioritize our relationship as a central part of our lives.
Question 28 of 51
I feel emotionally close to my partner.
Question 29 of 51
My partner understands my emotional needs and responds to them.
Question 30 of 51
We can share our deepest feelings with each other safely.
Question 31 of 51
I am satisfied with the level of physical affection in our relationship.
Question 32 of 51
We are able to discuss our physical and sexual needs openly.
Question 33 of 51
Our physical intimacy reflects mutual care and connection.
Question 34 of 51
We agree on major life goals such as career, family, and lifestyle.
Question 35 of 51
We regularly discuss and realign on our goals as a couple.
Question 36 of 51
We work as a team toward shared objectives.
Question 37 of 51
We have a fair division of household and life responsibilities.
Question 38 of 51
We can renegotiate roles when circumstances change.
Question 39 of 51
Neither of us feels overburdened by the distribution of tasks.
Question 40 of 51
We agree on how to manage our finances.
Question 41 of 51
We can discuss money matters without it becoming a source of conflict.
Question 42 of 51
We have compatible financial values and spending habits.
Question 43 of 51
We regularly make time for enjoyable activities together.
Question 44 of 51
We share a sense of humor and can laugh together easily.
Question 45 of 51
We seek out new experiences and adventures as a couple.
Question 46 of 51
We share similar values about the meaning and purpose of life.
Question 47 of 51
We can discuss existential or spiritual topics with mutual respect.
Question 48 of 51
Our spiritual or philosophical beliefs are a source of connection.
Question 49 of 51
We adapt well to changes and transitions in our lives.
Question 50 of 51
We support each other's personal growth even when it creates discomfort.
Question 51 of 51
Our relationship has grown stronger over time as we've faced challenges together.

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© 2026 Jonathan Procter, Ph.D., LMHC — Choosing Memento Vivere
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