Choosing Memento Vivere

Couples Schema Questionnaire

Assessment of early maladaptive schemas in couples — exploring relational patterns.

Please rate how much each statement describes your experience in your current relationship.
Question 1 of 100
I worry that my partner will leave me for someone better
Question 2 of 100
I find myself clinging to people because I am afraid they will leave
Question 3 of 100
I feel anxious when my partner is away for extended periods
Question 4 of 100
I often worry that my relationship will not last
Question 5 of 100
I need frequent reassurance that my partner still cares about me
Question 6 of 100
When my partner seems distant, I immediately think something is wrong
Question 7 of 100
I have a hard time trusting that good relationships will last
Question 8 of 100
I feel that the important people in my life will not be there when I need them
Question 9 of 100
I tend to overreact to brief separations from my partner
Question 10 of 100
I find myself thinking about what I would do if my relationship ended
Question 11 of 100
It is difficult for me to fully trust my partner
Question 12 of 100
I am often suspicious of my partner's intentions
Question 13 of 100
I often question what my partner tells me
Question 14 of 100
I expect that people will eventually disappoint me
Question 15 of 100
I feel the need to protect myself from being hurt in relationships
Question 16 of 100
I often check up on my partner to make sure they are being honest
Question 17 of 100
I believe that people usually have hidden motives
Question 18 of 100
I have a hard time opening up to my partner
Question 19 of 100
I feel uncomfortable when my partner gets close to other people
Question 20 of 100
I tend to remember hurts more than the good times in my relationship
Question 21 of 100
I feel that my emotional needs are not being met in my relationship
Question 22 of 100
I rarely feel that someone really listens to me and understands how I feel
Question 23 of 100
I feel emotionally disconnected from my partner
Question 24 of 100
I feel that I give more emotionally than I receive in my relationships
Question 25 of 100
I have difficulty expressing my emotional needs to my partner
Question 26 of 100
I feel alone even when I am with my partner
Question 27 of 100
I do not expect to get the emotional support I need from my partner
Question 28 of 100
My partner does not really know the real me
Question 29 of 100
I find it hard to ask for comfort or affection from my partner
Question 30 of 100
I have lowered my expectations about emotional connection in relationships
Question 31 of 100
If my partner really knew me, they would not love me
Question 32 of 100
There are parts of myself that I need to hide from my partner
Question 33 of 100
I feel that I am not good enough for my partner
Question 34 of 100
I am often critical of myself in the context of my relationship
Question 35 of 100
I feel uncomfortable receiving compliments from my partner
Question 36 of 100
I worry about being exposed as inadequate in my relationship
Question 37 of 100
I feel unworthy of my partner's love and affection
Question 38 of 100
I tend to focus on my flaws rather than my strengths in the relationship
Question 39 of 100
I have a hard time believing positive things my partner says about me
Question 40 of 100
I worry that my imperfections will eventually drive my partner away
Question 41 of 100
I often feel like an outsider in my relationship
Question 42 of 100
I feel that my partner does not understand my experiences
Question 43 of 100
I have trouble connecting with other couples socially
Question 44 of 100
I feel fundamentally different from my partner in important ways
Question 45 of 100
I feel disconnected from the people around me
Question 46 of 100
I find it difficult to relate to other people in social settings
Question 47 of 100
I do not feel like I truly belong even in my closest relationships
Question 48 of 100
I feel that my partner and I do not fit in with other couples
Question 49 of 100
My relationship feels different from most other relationships
Question 50 of 100
I find it hard to feel truly part of a group or community
Question 51 of 100
I rely heavily on my partner to make decisions for me
Question 52 of 100
I feel anxious about doing things on my own without my partner
Question 53 of 100
I need a lot of guidance and direction from my partner
Question 54 of 100
I doubt my ability to solve problems without my partner's help
Question 55 of 100
I worry about how I would manage on my own if my relationship ended
Question 56 of 100
I seek my partner's approval before making most decisions
Question 57 of 100
I feel uncomfortable when my partner is not available to help me
Question 58 of 100
I tend to let my partner take responsibility for major areas of our life together
Question 59 of 100
I feel incapable of managing day-to-day life without my partner's support
Question 60 of 100
I find it difficult to start projects or take initiative without encouragement from my partner
Question 61 of 100
I worry that I will disappoint my partner
Question 62 of 100
I feel less accomplished compared to my partner
Question 63 of 100
I tend to focus on my failures rather than my successes in the relationship
Question 64 of 100
I feel that I am not contributing enough to the relationship
Question 65 of 100
I compare myself unfavorably to other people in relationships
Question 66 of 100
I feel that I have let my partner down in important ways
Question 67 of 100
I believe others are more capable partners than I am
Question 68 of 100
I worry that my mistakes will negatively affect my relationship
Question 69 of 100
I feel that I have not lived up to my potential as a partner
Question 70 of 100
I worry my partner will realize I am not as competent as they thought
Question 71 of 100
I get frustrated when my partner does not prioritize my needs
Question 72 of 100
I feel my partner should do what I want regardless of the situation
Question 73 of 100
I get irritated when others do not meet my expectations
Question 74 of 100
I believe my needs should come first in the relationship
Question 75 of 100
I have difficulty accepting when things do not go my way
Question 76 of 100
I feel that my partner should accommodate my preferences
Question 77 of 100
I find it hard to compromise when I have strong opinions
Question 78 of 100
I believe I deserve special consideration in my relationship
Question 79 of 100
I become impatient when my partner does not respond to me quickly
Question 80 of 100
I find it difficult to accept criticism from my partner
Question 81 of 100
I often put my partner's needs ahead of my own
Question 82 of 100
I find it difficult to express my own needs in the relationship
Question 83 of 100
I feel guilty when I prioritize myself over my partner
Question 84 of 100
I take on too much responsibility for my partner's happiness
Question 85 of 100
I tend to agree with my partner to avoid conflict even when I disagree
Question 86 of 100
I have a hard time saying no to my partner
Question 87 of 100
I worry about being perceived as selfish in my relationship
Question 88 of 100
I feel resentful after doing things I did not want to do for my partner
Question 89 of 100
I suppress my own feelings to keep the peace in my relationship
Question 90 of 100
I feel responsible for solving all problems in my relationship
Question 91 of 100
I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the perfect partner
Question 92 of 100
I am critical of myself for not meeting my own standards in the relationship
Question 93 of 100
I feel that I should always be productive and contributing to the relationship
Question 94 of 100
I have difficulty relaxing without feeling guilty about not doing more
Question 95 of 100
I feel that nothing I do in the relationship is ever good enough
Question 96 of 100
I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold my partner
Question 97 of 100
I spend a lot of time trying to improve myself for my partner
Question 98 of 100
I feel like I am constantly striving but never measuring up in the relationship
Question 99 of 100
I am critical of my partner for not meeting my standards
Question 100 of 100
I am critical of my partner for not meeting my standards

Your responses are confidential.

Thank you

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© 2026 Jonathan Procter, Ph.D., LMHC — Choosing Memento Vivere
Choosing Memento Vivere